Emotional Pressure?

Hey minna,

Today I'm not so okay, I've though a lot about sharing this since it's not totally related to the losing pain journey, but hey, everyday it's part of this journey, every moment of it, so why the hell not?

I overslept this morning and missed my training, well I don't have a schedule so I can still go on the afternoon and I'm going, but breaking my routine just made this whole day worse, so yeah this is going to be a "crappy day" post! I woke up like an half hour late, and just couldn't bring myself to get up the bed, I just felt SO numb, like I didn't care for anything anymore, and I spent all morning looking to the emptyness trying to figure out what to do.
I made a lot of plans, going out with my friends, going to the gym when I get back and stuff, but nothing felt right! I noticed that I was getting to attached to this routine, despite this being the 4th day of my journey I always do that, I OBCESS over common stuff and I end up quitting, hurting myself or others!

So today I decided to take the day to myself! Just staying at home, not talking to anyone, just me and my TV shows and animes (I know it's not healthy but better than the alternative believe me) later I'll go to the gym, workout a few kilograms off and get home to a perfect shower and dinner, then yes I'll be able to shake off this numbness, then I'll be able to believe in my smile and everything will be okay!

Hope this works out, root for me please,
Nana